Some Superficial Facts and Figures

Excerpt from “Please Read Me”

“In our times just 3 out of 10 newlyweds will stay married to their original partners (and counting…)

It sounds like a catastrophic prediction of a typical millennium crossing. That is if one actually believes surveys. Let’s have a look at some old statistics from the USA, where most modern trends seem to find their origin. It is said that:

… of all marriages in the 1890’s approximately 10% ended in divorce; in the 1920’s, 18%; in the 50’s, 30%; in the 70’s, 50%; and in the 90’s close to 70% – Only one in three will survive.

Let’s pretend these figures were just pulled out of a hat. 

Nevertheless the changes in the perception of the stigma connected to divorce and women’s ever-increasing economic and emotional independence, are contributing factors to the disintegration of what was often the glue that kept together even the most miserable of relationships. Rightly so, now women have careers and alternative goals other than being wives and full time mothers, a species rapidly heading towards extinction. Socially accepted changes that have altered the chemistry of the ties between husband and wife and their children, thinning the emotional and practical thresholds that can break them apart.

According to Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and author of the mid 90’s best seller ‘Emotional Intelligence’, this chemistry can actually be measured quite accurately. Scientists are able to detect invisible adrenaline surges, jumps in blood pressure and heartbeat, and other subtle variations in the level of micro-emotions. These are true physiological measurements that reveal a hidden biological sub-texture of a couple’s difficulties, an emotional reality that is often imperceptible even to the couple itself; forces that can hold a relationship together or destroy it, a real confrontation of hormones on the warpath”.

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pasquale@nofearjustdoit.com